How to Stop Self-Sabotage and Start Thriving
Let’s get real for a minute—have you ever felt like you’re your own worst enemy when it comes to achieving your health goals? You start strong, full of motivation, and then… something happens. Maybe you skip a workout, eat something off-plan, or hit snooze instead of getting up for that morning walk. Before you know it, the guilt sets in, and you’re back to square one.
Sound familiar? You’re not alone. Self-sabotage is something so many of us struggle with, and it can feel like an uphill battle. But here’s the good news: self-sabotage isn’t a life sentence, and it’s not a reflection of your willpower or worth. It’s a pattern—and patterns can be changed.
Let’s break down what self-sabotage really is, why it happens, and how you can overcome it to build the healthy, thriving life you deserve.
What Is Self-Sabotage?
Self-sabotage happens when your actions work against your own goals. It’s like having one foot on the gas and the other on the brake—you want to move forward, but something keeps holding you back.
It often looks like:
- Breaking commitments to yourself, like skipping planned workouts or indulging in emotional eating.
- Setting unrealistic expectations, only to feel defeated when you can’t meet them.
- Procrastinating or avoiding things you know will help you, like meal prepping or scheduling that doctor’s appointment.
Self-sabotage can be sneaky, showing up as little habits or thought patterns that derail your progress without you even realizing it.
Why Do We Self-Sabotage?
This is the big question, isn’t it? If you genuinely want to feel better, lose weight, or manage your chronic pain, why would you stand in your own way? The truth is, self-sabotage is often tied to deeper fears, beliefs, or unmet needs.
Here are some common reasons why it happens:
1. Fear of Failure (or Success)
If you’ve tried and “failed” before, you might be afraid to try again because you don’t want to feel that disappointment. On the flip side, success can be scary, too—what if you lose weight and still don’t feel happy? What if people expect more from you?
2. Low Self-Worth
If you don’t believe you’re worthy of feeling good or achieving your goals, it’s easy to sabotage yourself. Negative self-talk like “I’m not good enough” or “I’ll never succeed” reinforces this cycle.
3. Comfort in Familiar Patterns
Change is hard, and even unhealthy habits can feel “safe” because they’re familiar. Self-sabotage often happens when stepping out of your comfort zone feels overwhelming.
4. Unrealistic Expectations
If you’re setting goals that are too big or rigid, you’re more likely to feel discouraged and give up. Perfectionism is often at the heart of self-sabotage.
How to Overcome Self-Sabotage
The first step to breaking free from self-sabotage is recognizing it when it happens. From there, you can start to shift your mindset and create healthier habits that set you up for success.
Here’s how:
1. Get Curious, Not Judgmental
When you catch yourself self-sabotaging, resist the urge to beat yourself up. Instead, get curious. Ask yourself:
- What triggered this behavior?
- What need am I trying to meet (comfort, stress relief, etc.)?
- How can I meet that need in a healthier way?
Approaching yourself with kindness and curiosity helps you understand the root cause of your actions without shame.
2. Set Realistic Goals
Big, sweeping changes can feel overwhelming, which often leads to self-sabotage. Instead, focus on small, achievable goals that build confidence and momentum.
For example, instead of saying, “I’m going to work out every day,” start with three days a week and adjust as you go. Celebrate your wins, no matter how small they seem.
3. Rewrite Your Self-Talk
Negative self-talk fuels self-sabotage. Pay attention to the stories you tell yourself and start rewriting them with compassion and positivity.
- Replace “I always fail” with “I’m learning and improving every day.”
- Swap “I’m not good enough” with “I deserve to feel my best.”
This shift can feel awkward at first, but over time, it will help you create a more supportive inner dialogue.
4. Focus on Your “Why”
Remind yourself why you’re working toward your goals in the first place. Is it to feel confident in your body? To have the energy to play with your kids or travel? Keeping your “why” front and center helps you stay motivated, even when things get tough.
5. Build a Support System
Self-sabotage thrives in isolation. Surround yourself with people who support and encourage your goals. Whether it’s a friend, coach, or group program, having accountability can make all the difference.
6. Give Yourself Permission to Rest
Sometimes, self-sabotage happens because you’re pushing yourself too hard. Rest is just as important as effort. Allow yourself to take breaks and recharge without guilt.
Breaking the Cycle
Self-sabotage doesn’t disappear overnight—it’s a process of awareness, patience, and consistent effort. The good news is, every time you catch yourself in a self-sabotaging pattern and choose a different path, you’re breaking the cycle and building a new one.
It’s not about being perfect. It’s about showing up for yourself, even when it’s hard, and learning to trust that you’re worth the effort.
Ready to Overcome Self-Sabotage for Good?
If you’re ready to stop standing in your own way and start making real, lasting progress, I’d love to help. That’s exactly what the Renew & Revive program is all about.
This 12-week journey is designed to help women like you uncover what’s been holding them back and create a personalized plan for success. It’s not about quick fixes—it’s about addressing the root causes of self-sabotage and building habits that truly stick.
Click here to join the program and take the first step toward thriving!
Final Thoughts
Self-sabotage can feel frustrating and defeating, but it doesn’t have to define your journey. By understanding why it happens and learning how to overcome it, you can break free from the patterns that have been holding you back.
You deserve to feel confident, healthy, and empowered—and I’m here to help you get there. Let’s take this journey together. You’ve got this!